Crap! I’m in the midst of my exams, I have my Database paper tomorrow, and I can’t get myself to study!!! Let me see….i’m in the first semester of my third year, that means I’ve got 3 more semesters or 1.5 more years to go~!!! It is at times like these that one would start to ponder: “Did I make the right choice?” Of course there are the exceptional few who are CRAZY about their field and will never regret the choice they made.
Right now I am feeling quite Bärfy. Let’s look at the issue on hand objectively. 5 years ago (3 years of studying + 2 years of conscription), I made my choice to take my Computer Engineering in university. From that point right up till the end of my first semester in school, I daresay I liked what I was doing. Then things changed….mandatory modules started to make no sense to me. “Signals and Systems”, “Data Acquisition” and “Human Resource Management & Entrepreneurship”….I hate them! For someone who intends to make a living by getting a 1st class Honors then get stuck with a 9-5 job, each and every subject is important. For me? I never knew the course curriculum when I signed up for the course, and now you tell me I have to complete these stupid modules?! Along the way, I found out what really caught my interest. I am not interested in the backstage production of every single gadget you see in the world, my interest lies ON the stage. I wanna create applications! Now, I feel the regret and don’t you come preaching to me that “one shouldn’t live in the past….blah blah blah”, because I believe life will be utterly boring without regrets.
As much as I hated my course of study, I pulled through for the last 2-3 years and here I am now. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, I happened to pick up a very interesting elective – “Introduction to Magic Realism”. I’ve always liked reading, but this subject brought my understanding to a whole new level. All at once, I realized there were so many more ways to categorize books out there. Though I’m not interested in venturing into the field of writing, but I am interested to learn more about literature. Now I feel that I should have taken on a language course or something. With that in mind, I went to look up on foreign universities with the intention to take another degree in future, not to make a living out of it, but purely for interest…..I really shouldn’t have done that.
Going through my list of overseas universities, something hit me hard, right smack in my face! Singapore universities suck! Why? Because of the way they run their courses! Everything here is about EXAMS….and the only subjects without them, are subjects like resume writing. Please enlighten me if I am wrong, but can exams actually prove your worth in the working society? This was the breaking point. My dislike has turned into HATE. Why is it that other universities decide on a student’s grades through their coursework and projects (which makes so much more sense) and we have to go through college like kids?! In case you feel that the only way to judge a ability of a student in a course like mine is through exams, allow me to tell you why you’re wrong. My database lecturer told us that back in India (in the university he graduated from), there’s no exams for database. Instead students are told to build their own database systems. Yes, this is ALOT tougher, but at least it’s practical and it’s what a computer engineer will most likely have to do at work! No wonder Singapore graduates are dumb! (and yes….I am going to be a Dumb Singapore Graduate as well). My conclusion: In Singapore, you STUDY, not LEARN!
Sheesh….one other reason I hate school, THE STUDENTS! I’ve stopped attending lectures and tutorials since I-don’t-know-when. The only lessons I attend are lab sessions which are compulsory (and I feel I learn something out of them). EVERYONE in school is so exam-driven! The school feels worse than a cemetery (at least I feel that cemeteries will give me a sense of peace). The school is infested with zombies! All you’ll ever hear them talk about are things like: “Have you started studying for the exams?”, “Oh! I did not do so well for ‘this’ module and I’m not going to get my FIRST CLASS HONORS!”, “I wanna graduate with a decent degree and get a job, buy a car, buy a flat and take care of my parents.” Seriously, if that’s what’s gonna keep you happy and content for the rest of your life…..fine with me. But don’t go around whining day-in-day-out about your puny problems. Why can’t school be a happy place? I would gladly stay in school everyday if there’s some party going on. (Yes, there are some stupid parties in school every once in a while, but guess what! People say the same things during parties.) Why should you be worried about exams right from the first day of EVERY FARKIN’ semester?! Everyday, the school looks darker then the darkest clouds you can find in vast open sky. My so-called friends have since become infected by this ‘disease’ that I cannot even stand being around them. ARgh! If this is what they feel will make them successful, then I wish them the best….sincerely.
Good thing for me, I am not alone in fighting off this zombifying disease. I am glad that Angeline has always been there for every step of the way. Without her support, I think I would’ve been out of school by now. I’ll continue with my studies, till I complete it, so as not to waste the time and money that I’ve invested thus far. After that, I’ll be pursuing a different path and I will sure like to meet these ‘old friends’ of mine a few years down the road to see how successful and happy they will become.
As a final note, I just noticed that my entire post had nothing to do with my title. Actually, all I wanted to do was to ask how do people actually get their butts down to studying. In the end, it became a rambling of nonsensical nonsense.
